Thursday, 9 May 2013

I Don't Want to Keep the Pregnancy, My Boyfriend Does - What Should I do?

I'm about 4 weeks preggers for my boyfriend. We've been dating for close to a year and planning to get married by December '13/January '14. We've been planning our wedding and attending pre-marital counselling at Church though we're not formally engaged (he did not propose with a ring, that is).

The problem is, I mistakenly got pregnant. Yea, it was out of carelessness. We are one of the most careful people ( so I thought) and I'm so disappointed in myself. Right now, I feel so much regret, anger and resentment towards my boyfriend. I'm not happy to continue this for 9 months.

I immediately decided to abort the baby, but my boyfriend is unsupportive. He says his ex-girlfriend had an abortion in his university days and he promised never to do such again. I'm devastated because I'm not ready for kids right now. We both live in the US and my career is just starting. I just started a masters which is time-consuming and also interviewing with top oil & gas companies with good responses so far. No company will take a pregnant lady seriously. (Btw, I'm 26). I want to have a great career without hindrance.

Another reason is, I'm the only girl and first of my parents. No one has met my boyfriend officially, yet. My parents always dreamt of having a big wedding for me. I've always longed for it (without looking heaviliy pregnant). My mum is an evangelist at Church and I feel lke her reputation will be messed up. We can't afford a wedding right now and I don't want a child out of wedlock.

My boyfriend is a lovely guy. I'm blessed. He loves kids and wants me to keep this baby soo bad, but he cannot afford to take care of me or the baby. He is low-income and I love him even with his financial status. Our initial plan was, since I'm certified to work in the US and he's still in grad school (1st degree in Nigeria), I wanted to get into a good job then support our family financially till he graduates. He works part-time and his income cannot do anything for us. I've tried to explain my position and he thinks I don't have faith in his future.

I've beeged him to let me abort this one and start baby planning by January, but he won't listen.

Pls advice. What will you do if you're in my shoes? Thanks.

1 comment:

  1. Problems always seems too dofficult wen you're confused about it's possible solution but but believe me there is no big deal in having a baby rather than living with the stigma of aborting your first child in life. Just put ur mind together and have the baby and as for the work, I believe if you lose this, there is still better one waiting for you, and as for your mum also,I know she will understand


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